are kids so bad these days? i would never have dared do some of the stuff the kids do that i watch at the afterschool... and just their general attitude is awful, too. whiny, complaining about everything, rude, selfish... gaahhh. *obviously, i had a bad day at work today*

ok, since i sound like a cranky old fart, i suppose i shall look on the bright side now. they're not all e-vile, and i think they like me. i have gotten many nice pieces of artwork, gained their respect *somewhat* and learned new ways to spell my name, such as 'Niki' and 'Niche.' also, i get training for being a teacher one day. true, as soon as i think we're having a good day and the kids are getting along fine, someone picks a fight, or starts crying, or throwing things, or just gets hit in the head with a golf club. but then, you get the happy moments, rare as they are, when a kid helps another out, lets someone take his time on the computer (which, in most cases, they bow to and worship like a god). and sometimes they actually PLAY NICELY!!! well, that does happen a lot. they just need to be yelled at and occasionally hugged; that's all. and, ya know, today, we let the older kids be in charge of a project, and they had to learn to keep the younger ones in check. after THEY yelled for awhile, i happened to wander in and give them a little object lesson about "see-what's-going-on-this-is-why-we-make-you-be-quiet,-see?" i think they might have finally caught on... for a few minutes. but it was a beautiful thing.

blech... drake, you're right, i'm getting burn-out already, and i'm not even a teacher yet. but, the funny thing is, the more i'm around these kids, and the more i take classes for my major, the more i realize that this is what i was meant to do, what i've been shaped for with everything i've already done my whole life with kids. i'll probably die with a giant wad of play-doh stuck in my windpipe. but, i'll die, hopefully, knowing i myself have really helped shape at least a few people's lives. that's what i'm doing now... i realized we're raising the kids for almost 25% of each week day.

so, if i can spend a while complaining about how simply terrible kids are these days, i guess i'll just make sure i'm not being a grumpy old fart about it. i'm going to take the good values and morals my parents taught me, and i'm not going to care if i'm politically correct about it either. you take responsibility for your actions, not throw the blame on the person you punched because they provoked you. no black kid is going to make fun of a white kid under me, and no white kid is going to do that, either, no matter if that's what their parents teach them at home. and they sure as heck aren't going to fight each other like animals while i'm with them. and, above all, i'm going to teach them to love and respect each other, to think of others before they up and do whatever.

well, that's the plan, anyways, for the rest of my career with kids. i wonder if i'll look back at myself one day and laugh for being idealistic. i suppose i will in part. i can't change the world, and sometimes i can't even change a kid. but i sure as hell can try. it's what keeps me going.